Dear readers, all of you are so awesome. I really appreciate all the emails,comments and encouraging words. I know I'm terrible with getting back to you in a timely manner and i failed to blog for the past nine month. But thank you for supporting my blog by keep checking in. Though my blog aren't active like it use to be, I'm truly touched to see the stat stay quietly brilliant with thousands of page preview daily. Eventually, i receive a lot of email that concern about the reason i've stop blogging. Please do not worry, as i'm just busy exploring my spiritual cultivation to write more interesting practice to benefit all. This blog was made three(3) years ago to pre-record my spiritual pilgrimage, which brings me to another level of understanding the beauty of universe cultivation.
It's the beginning of another chapter, a new chapter.
Before i get intimate with my new chapter in spiritual part, perhaps..on the first part of my new chapter, i really want to blog about who i am. Lkcie are my initial, though u wouldn't want to know further of my name, cause i don't blog for fame or money, so for instant..you wouldn't see Google-adv or pay-2-read banner here. To me, blogging about my spiritual journey reached my personal development principle of getting more on what i want to focus on, help those in-need, sharing and generate great compassion + wisdom.
It's love at the first sight to triple jewel.
(The Buddha, means the awakening from deluded mind. The Dharma,the ultimate teaching to free sentient from suffering realms. The Sangha, also know as messenger- they cultivate for sentient beings)
Then one day, i was out with my long lost best-friend, Mr C. I know Mr C when I'm in primary school, he's my cousin best friend. So we use to hang out very often, despite the fact that he's much more older than me, he's also much more matured. I'm proud to say, our friendship waves for at least 15years, yea still in excellent condition. I remember it quite well, that night he asked me some doom question hence, triggered my sub-conscious mind to uncovered my blind spot.
While I happily enjoy my caramel latte, Mr C said 'I think, I like you.' and the next moment, I spilled half of my latte down my dress accidentally. It's not funny,but life really get unusual sometimes. I couldn't find an appropriate face expression to digest the Out-Of-Box compliment..this wasn't suppose to came out from him. I think if things work out for us, should have happen maybe 10years ago?
I hardly believe after 15years, my best friend kept this.
I feel so guilt i cant recognize my own drawing.
I ask ; why, why you like me?
Mr C ; the change, made you special. We know each other for years, but I never see it in the past.
People change, things change, time passed, everything change, that's what never change. I never play too hard on it, cause changes apply to everybody on right timing by the right person. And my reason, still there, Wilson Yong. Sometimes i have the urge to tell Wilson, I ...i wish you were here. Cause, while i have 99% of his friends and fans following my blog, he's the one who never really aware of what i wrote here. lol
The pin-point of the whole q&a between me and Mr C....
I finally told him 'the one you're in love with isn't me but someone called Wilson Yong. Cause without my own realization, I've been influenced. I changed, and became another Wilson.'
I remember once i told Wilson i don't see the reason why he accept me as his disciple. I'm nobody, i don't have exorbitant academic qualifications, no specialty...just too ordinary. Even so, i have to admit most of the time i cause a lot of unnecessary trouble, stupidity, childishness, excessive bad temper, misunderstanding, i end up made him worry about me. i thought to myself, he deserve someone better, someone that could lift his burden. When he doesn't respond to me instantly, i became sadder, trying to dissolve what i state was true enough, i seriously doomed with guilt. What’s worse, I was continually dissatisfied with everything I did. I was my own punching bag.
Wilson doesn't try to convince me with lie, instead he told me to recognize that all of us are different.
It's just that sometimes those differences are more obvious.
Wilson then continue..
I will stop looking at a person disability and label them by what they can't do, but rather by what they can do. U make mistake like everyone else, which allows you to learn as you go. That means you’re doing what you should be. Everybody is unique, whether you’re introverted or outgoing, book smart or street smart, creative or technical—the list goes on and on. You share something what only you can. Berry, there’s no right or wrong answer, if you could stand to improve the way you respond, newsflash: everyone could.
And because of this.. I've changed.
Three(3)years ago, i faced the most problematic issue with my dad and sis, we quarrel every time we see each other. I even moved away from my family, with hope to elope from responsibility. I'm glad, people start to recognize my changes. Now, I'm happily staying under the same roof with my family, tears running down my eye the day my sis engaged -the day her dream come true, the kind of bliss not words can describe until i witness it myself.
While i try to refresh what happened 3years ago...
I'm aware of a more vital issue - there's something wrong with me.
Wilson Yong, why i remembered all the crazy things you said. Somehow you left them running through my head. Once again, if it's not because of your unconditional guidance and teaching, i wont be able to feel the bliss of family love, and cue the spotlight - who i am -
Wilson and me - grandma birthday (Kechara Oasis) viva mall.